Turkey Ridiculousity

Today, after having starved fasted yesterday, The Professional is very ready to feast on the bounty of food she has prepared with her very own fabulously domestic hands :-)

This year, The Professional made a pledge to herself: NO repeat of last year's Turkey Ridiculousity. It was sincerely stressful and very unfabulous--though she believes there was little she could have done to avoid it besides paying closer attention to her surroundings. You see, someone called themselves "helping" The Professional, but really only complicated things in the worst of ways...

It was the day before Thanksgiving, and The Professional was in her beloved Ralphs Fresh Fare market in Downtown Los Angeles. Though the market had only opened a couple months earlier, she was already a regular, and had become friendly and conversational with some of the store's employees. That day, she got in the checkout line of one of her regular workers, and smiled as he made chatty small talk while ringing up her purchases. When he got to her fresh (not frozen--this is important) turkey, his face turned perplexed as he told The Professional that he'd be right back before zipping away in a flash with her turkey in hand. She figured that the turkey wasn't priced correctly or some other reasonable issue, and was thankful that her friendly grocery clerk had the wherewithal and customer service to take care of her promptly. When he returned, he finished ringing her up, and off she went.

When The Professional arrived home, she quickly threw all the groceries into the refrigerator, not paying the least bit of attention to any of them in particular. She figured that she'd sort everything out in the morning when the task of cooking actually began. When morning arrived, The Professional set about prepping the ingredients, chopping, seasoning, boiling and saute'ing. At last the moment came when her attention came to the turkey. Since she had purchased a fresh turkey, she knew that she'd only have to season it before popping it into the oven for a couple hours of roasting. However, when she grabbed the bird out of the fridge, to her extreme horror she realized that the turkey she brought home was frozen solid. With only three hours before her guests were scheduled to arrive, The Professional began to panic. No amount of prayer would thaw a frozen bird! She was absolutely LIVID that the fresh one she'd chosen in the store had been switched with a frozen one unbeknownst to her. Is that was home-dude did when he skipped away?!

On the brink of tears now, she knew her Thanksgiving was ruined. She was so embarrassed! At that pivotal moment, The Professional's boo stepped in and calmly suggested that she return to the market, frozen bird in hand, in hopes that there was a fresh one left to switch it back for. Though she didn't think it would produce the miracle that'd save her Thanksgiving, she had no better ideas, so to the store she went. The market's manager was sympathetic as she explained her situation while concurrently dodging the glance of the original clerk that had switched her bird. She didn't think he did it maliciously--he probably really thought he was helping her--but he switched it nonetheless. Unfortunately, the manager explained, the market was absolutely sold out of fresh turkeys. Thick tears began to teeter on her eyelashes. "Wait..." he said. "We may have one that was reserved, but not yet claimed," he suggested. "I'll give you one of those." He dissappeared into the back, and came out with a half-frozen turkey, explaining that it was the only thing he had. The Professional took it and (literally) ran home to attempt a salvage of her dinner.

After performing a very jankily-done defrost session, the clock absolutely said that the turkey needed to go into the oven. The Professional wasn't convinced that it was thawed all the way through, but she said a quick prayer and shoved it into the oven. Two hours later her guests dined on breast-meat only--the rest of the bird was not edible due to the defrosting/cooking situation. They were kind, and only made complaints that her service started an hour past what she had promised--not about the food, which she was thankful for.

This year, The Professional did all the due dilligence necessary to procure a positive Thanksgiving experience. She learned a valuable lesson about paying attention to details last year, and will certainly never repeat that fiasco again. Its probably best that it happened early in her domestic years, before she has a husband and family, etc. A mis-step like that in the family years would have been tragically unforgiveable!

Today, The Professional will prepare and feast on the following menu, made with love and care in the spirit of thanks...

• Roasted Turkey
• Herb & Apple Stuffing w/Home-made Gravy
• Mac & Cheese
• Greens
• Whipped Sweet Potatoes
• Potato Salad
• Cranberry Preserves
  
• Dinner Rolls