White Dude in Unit 234

The Professional resides in a lovely condominium community in Downtown Los Angeles. She loves the convenience of having the city at her literal doorstep, and is quite happy with her fellow residents within the property she lives. Except the White Dude in Unit 234.

You see, White Dude has the corner unit at the end of a long hallway that one must walk to get to any of the units on the second floor, the elevator bank, the management office, the mailboxes, the gym, the pool, or the theater room. In order to get to any of these points of interest, you must pass White Dude's unit in some fashion. It was actually a friend that first brought White Dude's idiosyncrises to The Professional's attention. "That White Dude in the corner needs some curtains or something," her friend commented. The next time she passed by, she indeed noticed that the unit's large bay windows were naked. She peeped into White Dude's home, and was unimpressed by his bachelor-style decor.

The Professional, now keenly aware that home-skillet had no window treatments, found herself peeping into the unit almost every time she passed by. She really couldn't help it. Mostly, she'd simply see a sparse, poorly appointed condo--nothing to write home about. Sometimes, she'd see White Dude working on his laptop. Sometimes, she'd catch him fixing a snack in his kitchen. No times did she care what White Dude was doing, but she still let her eyes peek to the right when passing by, as if the lack of shades were some sort of invitation to look.

After about a week of innocent peeking, things took a swift and dramatic turn. On her daily pass-by of the corner unit, The Professional got a view that she wasn't ready for. White Dude was not fully clothed. All right, so he had boxers on, but he was otherwise naked--pink skin just all on display in the absolute worst way. White Dude was casually walking towards his sofa, not paying attention to any outside passersby.

Hello, um...GROSS! While The Professional is certainly all for being comfortable in one's own home, she finds serious flaw in making the rest of one's residential community a party to your style of living. Since the first time The Professional's eyes were burnt by White Dude's clothing or lackthereof, she finds that with regularity, White Dude is straight chillaxin' in some really inappropriate fashion, in light of the fact that his entire domain is on public display. Its gotten to the point where, friends of The Professional--unrelated to each other and without provocation, have commented on several different occasions about the White Dude in Unit 234. Its getting embarrassing.

This problem is wrong on so many different levels. 1) What kind of person purchases a four hundred thousand dollar condo, then doesn't outfit it with window treatments?! 2) What kind of person has no shame in prancing half-naked in front of windows in a high-traffic area?! 3) Why does White Dude seem to have no courtesy for his neighbors?! Is he being belligerent, or is he simply unaware?

In an effort to remedy the problem, The Professional has written an anonymous note of complaint, and stuck it on the door of the management office. To date, nothing has been done about the problem. Still, she will be viligiant about the need to force this tenant to cover himself--with clothing, or with some window-shades...it matters not which.

The Professional now makes a concerted effort to NOT let her eyes peer into Unit 234, for fear of a swift burning. Good grief! A girl can't even walk down her own hallway in peace anymore!

White Dude in Unit 234: Please put on some daggone clothes!